I posted these poems over at my old Blog, Valentine Bonnaire – these were written on Red Rose Way in 1981, by me as a very young college student at UCSB https://valentinebonnaire.com/2016/09/05/trois-poemes-dune-rose-shattered-1981-where-i-laid-me-down-to-sleep-for-novel/
So now I am going to read one of them and turn it into a podcast.
During the month of November I will be reading the others as well.
Thanks for listening,
much love from
Adrienne
#2
this is the hardest poem I ever had to write
“you used to give me roses”
you used to give me roses
one perfect rose
like a perfect life
and I looking at that perfect life
I had to tear it apart
expose the center
past each perfect veined petal
past the subtle gradation of
softest color
peach rose white cream magenta scarlet lavendar
or the deepest red which fades to black
when I in my foolishness tried preserving
the moment and the scent
other times you brought a handful
claiming, “these are the last ones in my garden”
but you’ve always had a year round supply
how can I make you cry?
should I tell you I was a rose
when that doctor came in with the smile on his lips
I want to show you the center
of a perfect life the center of the rose
if you’ll let me ramble
past all these tangled petals dropping
like bombs on our conversations
each petal must be a moment
no one ever played he loves me, he loves me not
with a rose except me
you gave me roses
and you gave me one perfect rose once
like a perfect life
and I looking at that perfect life
I had to tear it apart
expose the center
expose my own heart in the process
that rosebud & my heart
so much the same, so much the same in fact
that when he
came into that room with that smile on his lips
and pulled apart the petals to find other petals
and more petals and more
past veined velvet
past each subtle gradation of
softest color
peach rose white cream magenta scarlet lavender
or the deepest red which fades to black
when I in my foolishness tried preserving
my own heart
and all the petals
that I’ve saved all the roses
can’t ever replace that one perfect rose I held for a moment
inside me.
*AUTHOR NOTE
THE INCITING INCIDENT IN THE NOVEL IS ABOUT THIS. SO, 1981 TO 2021
It has taken me this long to be able to write it in first, and today to read what I wrote 40 years ago out loud.
Adrienne Wilson 