One of my poems, #NewspaperPeople #Nanowrimo2021 #Memoir

I posted these poems over at my old Blog, Valentine Bonnaire – these were written on Red Rose Way in 1981, by me as a very young college student at UCSB https://valentinebonnaire.com/2016/09/05/trois-poemes-dune-rose-shattered-1981-where-i-laid-me-down-to-sleep-for-novel/

So now I am going to read one of them and turn it into a podcast.

During the month of November I will be reading the others as well.

Thanks for listening,

much love from

Adrienne

#2

this is the hardest poem I ever had to write

rosa1:july

“you used to give me roses”

you used to give me roses

one perfect rose

like a perfect life

and I looking at that perfect life

I had to tear it apart

expose the center

past each perfect veined petal

past the subtle gradation of

softest color

peach rose white cream magenta scarlet lavendar

or the deepest red which fades to black

when I in my foolishness tried preserving

the moment and the scent

other times you brought a handful

claiming, “these are the last ones in my garden”

but you’ve always had a year round supply

how can I make you cry?

should I tell you I was a rose

when that doctor came in with the smile on his lips

I want to show you the center

of a perfect life the center of the rose

if you’ll let me ramble

past all these tangled petals dropping

like bombs on our conversations

each petal must be a moment

no one ever played he loves me, he loves me not

with a rose except me

you gave me roses

and you gave me one perfect rose once

like a perfect life

and I looking at that perfect life

I had to tear it apart

expose the center

expose my own heart in the process

that rosebud & my heart

so much the same, so much the same in fact

that when he

came into that room with that smile on his lips

and pulled apart the petals to find other petals

and more petals and more

past veined velvet

past each subtle gradation of

softest color

peach rose white cream magenta scarlet lavender

or the deepest red which fades to black

when I in my foolishness tried preserving

my own heart

and all the petals

that I’ve saved all the roses

can’t ever replace that one perfect rose I held for a moment

inside me.

*AUTHOR NOTE

THE INCITING INCIDENT IN THE NOVEL IS ABOUT THIS. SO, 1981 TO 2021

It has taken me this long to be able to write it in first, and today to read what I wrote 40 years ago out loud.

Writing a new novel #Nanowrimo2021 #Newspaperpeople #preptober

So, premise for the novel is how we survive things. Like that first love that hurt you so much you thought you could never recuperate. For me that was an Art Teacher, and like all dumb girls who are the Muse to a much older married photography teacher, who lies to her, in order to have an affair he needs? This novel is FOR YOU.

Go ahead if you want and befriend me in Facebook if you want. So what I am writing is Second Wave Feminism circa post Roe v Wade years when I was a teen. College = 1979. I had already had a huge big job in Fashion, and the descision to go to college came because I worked at Henshey’s in Santa Monica, as an Assistant Buyer in the Junior Department. All the other girls my age were at UCLA. So, I dropped that Italian briefcase, and those fabulous leather boots, and I got a backpack.

He wasn’t my first relationship. I had had one that lasted three years before.

But he was the one that almost caused me to commit suicide.

So, it is so many moons ago now, I can write it. And in first.

This is for all the kids in their 20’s who feel really sad and lost right now.

So I always listen to music when I write. Writing the novel in First is like stripping off all your skin, it is such a close POV. Funny though, I can laugh.

The novel covers a twenty year period in Santa Barbara.

It’s University years, and getting the BA. It’s growing up. It’s getting a first apartment.

It’s the kind of love affairs we had in the years that were the turbulent 20’s.

Much love from Adrienne,

who is Adrienne Wilson in Nano. I entered Nano in 2009, and wrote Heart of Clouds a children’s book there, and I won! It was huge to me, back then. I was already a published writer, for my short stories that were Literary Erotica, at Cleansheets and ERWA, but to do a novel? So, here we go in the Preptober part!

I am so raring to go, the Muse is with me.

xxoo!

SCREENPLAY Heart of Clouds – Devlin Mirror scene/adaptation

HEART OF CLOUDS

by Adrienne D. Wilson

copyright 2009 by Adrienne D. Wilson, all rights reserved

Screenplay by Adrienne D. Wilson

copyright 2020 WordPress.com all rights reserved

for Walter Halsey Davis

of the Santa Barbara Writers Conference

INT. BATHROOM Mirror, DEVLIN in Golden Light, AFTERNOON

Devlin has carried Teenie’s note home in his pocket. He opens it to find her handwritten note, a tiny heart surrounded with clouds. The words, “Who are you?” are written in a girlish hand. Devlin

Heart of Clouds – do you believe in magic?

Takes you back, to a time when we were all so little, and we heard this. The actors that I sent the book to?

I meant it.

I meant every word I said. So, I have a reason for wanting to see this film realized, not just because to me those are some of the biggest stars on earth, but because of WHO they are as people.

I am making an intervention for the group that doesn’t know how to do things like Devlin and Teenie do. After the film, they will.

I wish you could have met my Dad or my Uncle, when I was little.

All day yesterday I listened to the music I was dancing around to at age ten or so. You might have been too, except some of you were a bit older than me, at that time. I just saw Swing Shift for the first time, yesterday, but Laugh-In, well my mom never missed it. Never. What a time that was. I guess I just want to say to you what beautiful people you are, okay, coffee and back to the page. Can’t wait to see what Viggo has done.

Jeff, Goldie, Robert, Viggo I meant it.

I know John Orland over in Facebook, and actually I bet you do too.

Losing Walter Halsey Davis, well. I know you feel this way, as well, when it is people you worked with.

My mother had just passed in the early years I met him at the Conference, and he showed us “Do You Remember Love” – yeah, I was the one in the audience who wept. I did yesterday again at the close of Swing Shift.

It’s all of you, and your performances.

It’s who you are, in this lifetime.

xxoo!

from Adrienne

Heart of Clouds – adaptation novel to screenplay

I took Odin down to the beach yesterday for the longest walk. Let me play you another cover of a song that was my fave as a young teen girl. While I have this coffee. It’s another cover, but you will know the voice. Creedence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aae_RHRptRg I am about to write you Devlin’s grandparents. And the happiness!

xxoo!

Adrienne

Yarn and memoir

So the fantastic first package of yarn arrived yesterday, bursting with Stylecraft and the Janie Crow colors to make her design for The Fruit Garden CAL. I joined Ravelry a few days ago, am Adrienne101 there. It amazes me that all the designers from around the world that I had been looking at in Youtube are in there. Crocheting sort of saved me during the last two years. I’m not sure how that worked exactly, but it did.

Anyway, it had been years and years and years since I picked up any yarn or thread to do anything. I practiced and practiced by watching videos of all kinds of women and people around the world in all of their different languages.

This morning I thought, wow, you know? I did this instead of writing. But writers do many things if the words aren’t there. They will be again. Walter’s death really was heavy for me at last year’s conference. I learned much from him about writing scenes. It’s not that much different from crochet. So my best friend and I at 13. That is in my memoir. We started off crocheting to escape in those years. We were escaping everything, I expect. You are on such a cusp at 13, you know? So this is a chapter called “Strings” https://valentinebonnaire.com/2010/12/29/strings-from-memoir-whitegirrrl-short-chapter/ that I was working on in 2010 – that whole book needs an edit, ooof. Some of the chapters make me cry they are so hard to look back on.

Anyway, the two of us would go downtown to a place called The Yarn Mart in those years. We would wander through, after school. It’s long gone now. But I love to get lost with yarn and fabrics. It takes me so far back I’m practically in childhood, as in “FUN” so this morning I finished off a little heart by a South African designer called Jen Tyler.

So, one of the boxes of the new yarn arrived, yesterday!

OMG. It puts the Big Box yarn I had to shame. I think this yarn and I are going to be beloved friends.

Check it out!

That’s the little Forget-Me-Not flower from the Fruit Garden CAL. My best friend Pam at 13 grew up loving the Pre-Raphaelites. Funny, this pattern – the colors.

Her grandmother had made her a classic blanket, that was in her room when we were so little. I started one of those blankets where you keep going around and around the square, you know?

Well, who knew that I was going to grow up and attempt something as gorgeous as what Janie Crow has designed. Neither my mother or my grandmother did anything like this. I did hear that my Irish great grandmother used to make lace, but I have never seen it.

Forget me not.

xxoo!

from Adrienne

(who will be back on the writing jag soon enough)

I am so over politics, and this virus.

Yarn, during the pandemic

Focus on color. This is going to work for me. So I should be getting the cartons of the yarns soon, to start Janie Crow’s gorgeous Fruit Garden CAL. I have been practicing the squares, and so here are some images. Yesterday I realized I will have to order yarn, and this is new, in order to get a higher quality than what the big box has.

Also, I think I want to design a little myself, and so yesterday I began to think about that.

So, focus.

Focus on joy.

Focus each day on a thing that can make you happy. This can be anything, and right now for me it is color.

It is getting harder and harder to absorb the news, to watch the news.

Insert beauty.

So here is the first little flower, the Forget me not. Done in blue, from some scrap yarns I have:

I love how Janie has made the designs from easy to hard in a kind of production mode. You can follow her hands:

This is what I came up with for the clementine square – I only had a bit of melon colored yarn and for the other bits I had to use Lily cotton to get semi near the shades she used. The thing is, I really wish I had gotten the kit. The reason being, the yarns are so much prettier. So I went back to the Stylecraft site and looked at what I ordered. Some of the colors jumped off the page at me, and it may be that I try and do parts of this with something different, when the yarn comes. I had to do that when I started her pattern for Frida’s Flowers, too. I didn’t have the colors. So it was trips and trips back to the yarn store.

This time I plan to FINISH.

So in my basket, yarn for a knitted really cush blanket I began a year ago.

It’s so soft and I made a tweed by using big box style.

But I have some Italian yarn! I fell in love with that, and yesterday I was able to get a bit more. They are closing it out, oh no.

I guess I could say I am designing a blanket, then.

Score one!

The yarn makes me really happy and so this is the time for doing things by hand.

Even looking at the colors for the soup I made that day…

So, small things.

Small, quiet things, to get through this time.

The news is incredibly frightening.

Have yarn.

Bright little strings, crochet

They seem to be helping, a little. So I am waiting on some boxes of actual yarn that the designer Janie Crow used for her magnificent Fruit Garden CAL. Not having the actual yarn has been strange because I can’t do the colors? She uses yarns from Stylecraft for this in a mix.

I have been practicing. The Acanthus motif is the most fantastic, I mean, just to do that one.

So I have almost made all the flowers, with scraps of different kinds of yarn. I can see why Hollyhock was her favorite, it is gorgeous. She has such a signature style on the leaves and all the picots. Last summer I was in the big box and saw a magazine – Crochet and the scarf on the cover. I knew it was her! So there you have it.

The Maltese Cross in the center of Acanthus is such a stunner. The kits were sold out, so trying to find the yarn was maddening. I can’t get Parchment so I had to settle for Cream. So this is Hollyhock.

I had some Caron Cakes in blues. I think this will be the type of yarn I will be receiving. So I didn’t have any pink, drat. Winging it in blue. The main thing is to try for each.

The main thing is to say no matter how terrible everything seems, keep going. At the end, you will have this gorgeous thing.

So these color ranges from Stylecraft, just wow. You can find her free patterns for things here. https://www.stylecraft-yarns.co.uk/

Waiting on the yarn boxes is like kid in a candy store. In the UK they have DK weight, and these yarns are called DK Life, and Batik. Both are wool blends. The Caron Cake is also that mixture and so I was really happy to shade with the blue.

I couldn’t get Blue Haze and it is killing me, anyway, we shall see, soon.

Strings of yarn as solace, in this time.

I’m trying to remember the colors that I ordered, and just wow. I have way more than the ones in the kit coming, because I knew I would have to make substitutes.