Takes you back, to a time when we were all so little, and we heard this. The actors that I sent the book to?
I meant it.
I meant every word I said. So, I have a reason for wanting to see this film realized, not just because to me those are some of the biggest stars on earth, but because of WHO they are as people.
I am making an intervention for the group that doesn’t know how to do things like Devlin and Teenie do. After the film, they will.
I wish you could have met my Dad or my Uncle, when I was little.
All day yesterday I listened to the music I was dancing around to at age ten or so. You might have been too, except some of you were a bit older than me, at that time. I just saw Swing Shift for the first time, yesterday, but Laugh-In, well my mom never missed it. Never. What a time that was. I guess I just want to say to you what beautiful people you are, okay, coffee and back to the page. Can’t wait to see what Viggo has done.
Jeff, Goldie, Robert, Viggo I meant it.
I know John Orland over in Facebook, and actually I bet you do too.
Losing Walter Halsey Davis, well. I know you feel this way, as well, when it is people you worked with.
My mother had just passed in the early years I met him at the Conference, and he showed us “Do You Remember Love” – yeah, I was the one in the audience who wept. I did yesterday again at the close of Swing Shift.
I took Odin down to the beach yesterday for the longest walk. Let me play you another cover of a song that was my fave as a young teen girl. While I have this coffee. It’s another cover, but you will know the voice. Creedence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aae_RHRptRg I am about to write you Devlin’s grandparents. And the happiness!
So the fantastic first package of yarn arrived yesterday, bursting with Stylecraft and the Janie Crow colors to make her design for The Fruit Garden CAL. I joined Ravelry a few days ago, am Adrienne101 there. It amazes me that all the designers from around the world that I had been looking at in Youtube are in there. Crocheting sort of saved me during the last two years. I’m not sure how that worked exactly, but it did.
Anyway, it had been years and years and years since I picked up any yarn or thread to do anything. I practiced and practiced by watching videos of all kinds of women and people around the world in all of their different languages.
This morning I thought, wow, you know? I did this instead of writing. But writers do many things if the words aren’t there. They will be again. Walter’s death really was heavy for me at last year’s conference. I learned much from him about writing scenes. It’s not that much different from crochet. So my best friend and I at 13. That is in my memoir. We started off crocheting to escape in those years. We were escaping everything, I expect. You are on such a cusp at 13, you know? So this is a chapter called “Strings” https://valentinebonnaire.com/2010/12/29/strings-from-memoir-whitegirrrl-short-chapter/ that I was working on in 2010 – that whole book needs an edit, ooof. Some of the chapters make me cry they are so hard to look back on.
Anyway, the two of us would go downtown to a place called The Yarn Mart in those years. We would wander through, after school. It’s long gone now. But I love to get lost with yarn and fabrics. It takes me so far back I’m practically in childhood, as in “FUN” so this morning I finished off a little heart by a South African designer called Jen Tyler.
So, one of the boxes of the new yarn arrived, yesterday!
OMG. It puts the Big Box yarn I had to shame. I think this yarn and I are going to be beloved friends.
Check it out!
That’s the little Forget-Me-Not flower from the Fruit Garden CAL. My best friend Pam at 13 grew up loving the Pre-Raphaelites. Funny, this pattern – the colors.
Her grandmother had made her a classic blanket, that was in her room when we were so little. I started one of those blankets where you keep going around and around the square, you know?
Well, who knew that I was going to grow up and attempt something as gorgeous as what Janie Crow has designed. Neither my mother or my grandmother did anything like this. I did hear that my Irish great grandmother used to make lace, but I have never seen it.
Focus on color. This is going to work for me. So I should be getting the cartons of the yarns soon, to start Janie Crow’s gorgeous Fruit Garden CAL. I have been practicing the squares, and so here are some images. Yesterday I realized I will have to order yarn, and this is new, in order to get a higher quality than what the big box has.
Also, I think I want to design a little myself, and so yesterday I began to think about that.
Focus on joy.
Focus each day on a thing that can make you happy. This can be anything, and right now for me it is color.
It is getting harder and harder to absorb the news, to watch the news.
So here is the first little flower, the Forget me not. Done in blue, from some scrap yarns I have:
I love how Janie has made the designs from easy to hard in a kind of production mode. You can follow her hands:
This is what I came up with for the clementine square – I only had a bit of melon colored yarn and for the other bits I had to use Lily cotton to get semi near the shades she used. The thing is, I really wish I had gotten the kit. The reason being, the yarns are so much prettier. So I went back to the Stylecraft site and looked at what I ordered. Some of the colors jumped off the page at me, and it may be that I try and do parts of this with something different, when the yarn comes. I had to do that when I started her pattern for Frida’s Flowers, too. I didn’t have the colors. So it was trips and trips back to the yarn store.
This time I plan to FINISH.
So in my basket, yarn for a knitted really cush blanket I began a year ago.
It’s so soft and I made a tweed by using big box style.
But I have some Italian yarn! I fell in love with that, and yesterday I was able to get a bit more. They are closing it out, oh no.
I guess I could say I am designing a blanket, then.
The yarn makes me really happy and so this is the time for doing things by hand.
Even looking at the colors for the soup I made that day…
They seem to be helping, a little. So I am waiting on some boxes of actual yarn that the designer Janie Crow used for her magnificent Fruit Garden CAL. Not having the actual yarn has been strange because I can’t do the colors? She uses yarns from Stylecraft for this in a mix.
I have been practicing. The Acanthus motif is the most fantastic, I mean, just to do that one.
So I have almost made all the flowers, with scraps of different kinds of yarn. I can see why Hollyhock was her favorite, it is gorgeous. She has such a signature style on the leaves and all the picots. Last summer I was in the big box and saw a magazine – Crochet and the scarf on the cover. I knew it was her! So there you have it.
The Maltese Cross in the center of Acanthus is such a stunner. The kits were sold out, so trying to find the yarn was maddening. I can’t get Parchment so I had to settle for Cream. So this is Hollyhock.
I had some Caron Cakes in blues. I think this will be the type of yarn I will be receiving. So I didn’t have any pink, drat. Winging it in blue. The main thing is to try for each.
The main thing is to say no matter how terrible everything seems, keep going. At the end, you will have this gorgeous thing.
Waiting on the yarn boxes is like kid in a candy store. In the UK they have DK weight, and these yarns are called DK Life, and Batik. Both are wool blends. The Caron Cake is also that mixture and so I was really happy to shade with the blue.
I couldn’t get Blue Haze and it is killing me, anyway, we shall see, soon.
Strings of yarn as solace, in this time.
I’m trying to remember the colors that I ordered, and just wow. I have way more than the ones in the kit coming, because I knew I would have to make substitutes.
To begin to even talk about what it is like in the United States right now or in my small beachtown? Well let me get you some links.
It’s going to take me quite some time and I have a great deal to say. I spent 20 years working for the local newspaper before my degree in Depth Psychology, or before I became a published writer under various noms de plume for the web. I really appreciate WordPress in this moment. That’s all I can say. I was a child in Junior High here in Santa Barbara when I read Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle.”
I have done some research, using Wikipedia about a couple of the meat packing plants. So, I also read Animal Farm by Aldous Huxley at that time. The film Lord of the Flies as well.
But first I want to talk about my dog, because I want to talk about how much our lives have changed in two months. He had to go to the vet. The vet who has been treating all the animals over a thirty year period. I want to talk about the experience, of the day, and all the thoughts, because, LIFE AS WE HAVE KNOWN IT? HAS CHANGED FOREVER. HOW DO I KNOW WHAT IS IN HIS DOG FOOD NOW THAT I HAVE READ ABOUT SMITHFIELD AND TYSON?
As you read the Wikipedia articles on these corporate giants, you are going to get the same sick feeling that I have, so do it. When you see the depth of the food chain they penetrate? My god you will throw up. I had to get something to eat for May first at the market, and for the dog. Imagine my horror walking through the supermarket. I’m not kidding. Most Californians have had a brush with vegetarianism, or veganism, but, we do love a barbecue now and then.
This is my rescue, Odin, and we wanted to walk the beach. After the vet. He’s going to be fine, just an ear infection and skin stuff. It’s what was about to happen though around getting his prescriptions and the things I saw out and about on the streets.
Someone did this. That’s the first thought, in the black dawn, after the drops of rain. All the countries are following the same pattern of shutdown. My dog is beside me, and all I can think about is how I am going to get him a giant bag of kibbles, and his cans, and where I am going to do that, today.
The thought occurs, they hoarded this too.
We are all in some kind of lost landscape now. It’s the same. It’s just after six, and I think of my grandmother saying, “It is always darkest before the dawn.” She’s right. The light will make it easier, writing makes it easier. I spent the morning looking at headlines. I could look at the maps. Looking at the maps only makes it worse. Why some places and not others?
I think about sewing a mask, maybe two or three. I’m not sure what to wear when I go out now. I have gloves from Thailand I was able to find. Latex gloves from an Import store, the one I found the toilet paper in. It is hard to adjust to being unfree, to having to wear certain things. At the market, people in the blue paper masks. I wonder where they got them.
To the south of me a city sprawls for miles.
To the north it is the same.
They have stripped the stores.
There are hundreds of videos on how to sew masks, from all over the world. In a box there is fabric, I could try. The last two times I went out I wore a muffler, that I could wrap around my face. I don’t understand the idea of all the people who order online. I like to go out and about, say hello to the people I know in places. It’s this terrible feeling of missing them, just people who own restaurants, people working. The stores are closed. There is the worry of how any of this will ever be able to come back after a few months. How things will look after that.
There are a million questions. Someone knows the answer.
Dawn has broken over the city. I can still hear the owls and the birds. There is the matter of facing the day, facing the speeches, trying to eat. Trying to think of anything that can make this seem normal. At the store there were flowers. They were all on sale, and they are joy. The wildflowers are up. Maybe it is the smallest things, that can feed the soul in so much silence. The very smallest things.
I planted Sweet Peas.
I can work in the garden. I can try and breathe, through the fear. There are youtubes of others and how they are coping. I can make bread. For now I can make some bread.
I feel sad about Facebook, not being able to see my friends. I think right now I am socially isolating even from that, as there is not a way to speak about what we are all going through.
I am trying to set up tags and categories, as this should not fall under uncategorized, and I can’t see how to do that, anymore, easily, WP has changed so much.
One of the things from yesterday, the hospitals are totally unequipped with gowns and masks and the proper equipment for the nurses, down in Los Angeles they talked about that. Our healthcare system has been so broken in America for so many years, how could this happen now? The tragedy for the doctors and the nurses. In Youtube we can see images of Italy and the other countries. That is what I have had to use for breaking news.
Here is news on the nurses and the masks they need https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhkUolbaAaU the N95 mask. They are having to sew their own masks. This is one of the saddest stories I have ever seen. My god. It is said that there are 35 million of these masks already made, but to make them work without the proper medical supplies and outfits? Here in our country? It shows how broken things are.
This shows some information on the masks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmdxDsVO7Gc no one has these on the shelves here, or the gloves, r even the hand sanitizers – you cannot find them. The N95 is the one that the nurses need and people probably wish they had them. I do.
This is fantastic news – I got this from the President’s tweets on that Malaria drug <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">NEW DATA: A French study has demonstrated evidence that the combination of Hydroxychloroquine & Azithromycin are highly effective in treating Covid-19.<br><br>The patients enrolled in the study showed complete viral eradication around the 5th day of treatment. <a href="https://t.co/WnGs5PKOpn">https://t.co/WnGs5PKOpn</a> <a href="https://t.co/JZzZ66w4rL">pic.twitter.com/JZzZ66w4rL</a></p>— Michael Coudrey (@MichaelCoudrey) <a href="https://twitter.com/MichaelCoudrey/status/1241354642417577986?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 21, 2020</a></blockquote> https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Watching these maps is the hardest and seeing what is happening. It is the strangest feeling to be so isolated. We can’t go out and so we wait to hear. Only for food and the most basic things, so it feels not like this country. It feels very scary. Three weeks ago, as the news was breaking on this and Wuhan, I asked if the drugstore had the masks? They had been sold out. Then a week later, after seeing the news and seeing people in masks and gloves I asked for the gloves? Sold out. Then we saw the panic. The store shelves emptied of even things like toilet paper. All the paper was gone, and many of the foods that you see were also gone. This has added to the FEAR that people feel.
The news organizations are not reporting the same things, so I am trying to bypass and just find out myself. I do this using Google and Twitter and Youtube and I do a word search on any of these things.
It’s so quiet, only the birds sing.
No one is on the streets, people are inside. We are following the orders. WATCHING THIS now – to see what the President has to say: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4czayodBQ3o from NBC news. Pence “We are now six days into our 15 days” – but this is NOT what NEWSOM is saying.
It’s not clear how we are 6 days into the 15 days makes any sense. If you were to go out and be exposed to it? It takes two weeks on the symptoms, so you would have to start that count all over again, if you went out for groceries. Pence talking all about prayers and so forth.
FEMA on the testing, he is calm and very clear on this. He is giving a rundown on who should be tested first. No he is talking about STATE MANAGED testing sites. They are saying that the supplies can be gotten THROUGH FEMA for the doctors and nurses and tha these can be ordered from overseas. They have allocated a hundred million to help the states?
Dr. Carson speaking now on HOMES.
We are so broken as a country after 2008. We really were. So many lost everything they had and now are homeless all over the streets in California. There are fears that this virus will travel very fast “on the streets” in this population.
One of the hard things to watch right now is the people losing their jobs. They will lose everything. So we worry that there will be more homeless people. The news on unemployment claims has gone up overnight.
Now the Press Pool is asking questions.
DT “Doing a package, the likes we have never done before.” “I want $$$$ to be used for workers”
DT on masks. PENCE 1/2 billion dollar order on masks, coordinating through FEMA. N95 masks greatly increased in the country. N95 masks will work but did not have liability protection. Industrial N95 can be purchased. Bi-Partisan accomplishment.
DT on sanitizing masks, Fauci on reusing them.
PPE is what they call all the masks and gowns and things that are needed by the doctors. Pence asking people to donate masks, and dentists give the masks to hospitals…
DT the malaria drug, NY is getting it. I have much more faith in DT at this time. Give people something. “We have very sick people” – malaria drug will go to NY and other places. DT wishes China had told us earlier, given advance warning. He is talking about how we saw the problem via the news. That is the truth. How I saw about the problem was on the news via Google and I think that was only about ONE MONTH AGO.
What is so hard is to see the news from all over the world, and the only way to see what is going on? Is to use WORD SEARCHES by country in GOOGLE NEWS. For this story I used Google news on California. https://www.sacbee.com/news/coronavirus/article241383646.html – that is off the Sacramento Bee a well respected newspaper. Seeing a headline like this? Pure fear.
I think we would need to see Newsom speak about THAT? People would rather know, but at the same time see ACTION. I have much respect for President Trump right now.
PENCE “heed your own local government” – why does this make me scared? it is as if all of American is not on one page. That? Is the most frightening thing. This conference is almost over but, what Pence is saying is NO COMFORT. None.