One of my poems, #NewspaperPeople #Nanowrimo2021 #Memoir

I posted these poems over at my old Blog, Valentine Bonnaire – these were written on Red Rose Way in 1981, by me as a very young college student at UCSB https://valentinebonnaire.com/2016/09/05/trois-poemes-dune-rose-shattered-1981-where-i-laid-me-down-to-sleep-for-novel/

So now I am going to read one of them and turn it into a podcast.

During the month of November I will be reading the others as well.

Thanks for listening,

much love from

Adrienne

#2

this is the hardest poem I ever had to write

rosa1:july

“you used to give me roses”

you used to give me roses

one perfect rose

like a perfect life

and I looking at that perfect life

I had to tear it apart

expose the center

past each perfect veined petal

past the subtle gradation of

softest color

peach rose white cream magenta scarlet lavendar

or the deepest red which fades to black

when I in my foolishness tried preserving

the moment and the scent

other times you brought a handful

claiming, “these are the last ones in my garden”

but you’ve always had a year round supply

how can I make you cry?

should I tell you I was a rose

when that doctor came in with the smile on his lips

I want to show you the center

of a perfect life the center of the rose

if you’ll let me ramble

past all these tangled petals dropping

like bombs on our conversations

each petal must be a moment

no one ever played he loves me, he loves me not

with a rose except me

you gave me roses

and you gave me one perfect rose once

like a perfect life

and I looking at that perfect life

I had to tear it apart

expose the center

expose my own heart in the process

that rosebud & my heart

so much the same, so much the same in fact

that when he

came into that room with that smile on his lips

and pulled apart the petals to find other petals

and more petals and more

past veined velvet

past each subtle gradation of

softest color

peach rose white cream magenta scarlet lavender

or the deepest red which fades to black

when I in my foolishness tried preserving

my own heart

and all the petals

that I’ve saved all the roses

can’t ever replace that one perfect rose I held for a moment

inside me.

*AUTHOR NOTE

THE INCITING INCIDENT IN THE NOVEL IS ABOUT THIS. SO, 1981 TO 2021

It has taken me this long to be able to write it in first, and today to read what I wrote 40 years ago out loud.

Vanilla Suede SBWC 2019

So more thoughts on the characters and so forth this morning and thankfully I can tag my actor and actress in FB with all of this because they can talk between themselves about how they want to “BE” Marina and Trent. So this is a very Romantic play.  However these two MARINA and TRENT, like most, had many relationships before marriage, and then marriage went sour for both of them.  Giving this backstory now.  On the invention of what the backstory is, this will be something each actor can know, and pull from.  When I say this I mean the deep betrayals that can happen.  The crux in this is the ability to try for actual love again but the hesitancy about doing that.

I am so happy I have these two actors you would not believe it.  For one thing their looks are perfect as they are playing a certain age, in life.  The marvelous thing about the last night at the Conf is that everyone is exhausted, but the show is a calming time and so what I am going to do is change the words.  To make them PG, except maybe for one that TRENT says because this line is the crux on many levels, so, this can be worked out when we all get to the Conf.  If there is discomfort with the usage of a word, but I don’t there will be.

Notes on SCENE #1 and the MOURNERS

The flowers the MOURNERS carry.  I found some great chalice shaped flowers the mourners could carry.  I was going around and around thinking which sorts of things, but another thing that would be cool is maybe to have the actors find a FLOWER.  Why I say this.  The MOURNERS are like PANTOMIME since only ONE OF THEM has a line “TAKEN TOO SOON.”   The MOURNERS can be any ages, and hopefully we can get six or seven volunteers to flesh out that part.  On costumes for the MOURNERS, they can wear anything they would like, just be themselves.  For the PANTOMIME, this could be things like WIPING AWAY TEARS, anything that these actors can pull from that has been a LOSS in their own lives whether PEOPLE or say, an ANIMAL.  That sort of thing.  We are just pulling up the expression of sadness from the depths. So EACH MOURNER will look like themselves BEING SAD in front of the TOMBSTONE.

I want that part to be VERY DRAMATIC looking.  By this I mean as each steps forward to place a flower on the grave of their friend.  So this takes place one at a time as each steps forward and places the flower.  TRENT and MARINA will be the last to do this in SILENCE and then he will turn to her with “SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO BE HELD line.

THE MOURNERS can watch Marcel Marceau here to have an idea of the SILENCE and how he pulls that up and out.  EACH MOURNER will look DIFFERENT in their expression of sadness, by the PHYSICAL EXPRESSION of that, IN TOTAL SILENCE as PANTOMIME.  This could be something like wiping away tears of a hand to the heart, a deep sigh and so forth.  Hopefully we will get volunteers, because this will be THEM in a PLAY!  But also then they can go watch the play!  after EXITING the STAGE.

I will get this whole thing printed out at Fed Ex, so everyone gets a copy!  Sorry it isn’t coming at you in proper form.  Though the play has words, the most important thing in this is going to be ACTION on the part of these characters.  It is very subtle in places so I am going to try and use PANTOMIME as Marceau to show you that.  I have no worries at all about the actors for TRENT and MARINA.  I am going to ask Carmen and Walter to help us pull it off.  The Lighting should not be hard because whoever does that over the last few years, it’s been so gorgeous.  Last year there was a white curtain?  Maybe we have a curtain similar for the effect?  Of a stage curtain.  It could be that white one?  Just whatever will work and be SIMPLE.  To give the MOURNERS an idea of how powerful their parts actually are?  Watch this.

Also watch this to see how much power a Pantomine has, with the audience.  This is for PEOPLE PLAYING THE MOURNERS to understand that they have really big parts because they are setting the stage for what happens NEXT.

Here is the mime giving a workshop on Pantomime, just beautiful.